It's beginning to look like Christmas...

It's been awhile...not that I don't have anything to write about, but I've been sick, went to visit family and friends in Durango and now I'm sick again.  The holidays snuck up on me.  I'm excited for Darian this Christmas because she kind of understands what's going to happen on Christmas Day.  All she cares about is the new Jessie Doll mommy is getting her for Christmas.  She is so cute.  I have to say even though I love this time of year, the massacre that ocurred on Friday has me so sad.  My heart goes out to those parents who lost their little ones.  I cannot even imagine the pain they are experiencing right now, I will share that pain with them and be grateful for my children.  It just opens my eyes on how much love my kids fill me with.  And I realize that even though Darian is in her own world at times, I am so grateful to have her in my life.  God blessed us with this Angel who has become our teacher in so many ways.  She is the reason our family is so united and so loving.  She has changed my life in so many ways and I hope some day she will understand the impact she has had on me and so many others.  I hope one day I will be able to thank her and have her understand exactly why.  One could only hope.  I know it's sometimes difficult to believe when they say "God has his way of doing things and putting the right people in your life".  I believe this with all my heart.  I know I've had tragedy and heart ache and I've been mistreated and judged in so many ways, but I am grateful to God for putting that pain in my life, it helped me appreciate all that I have and all that I don't have.  He gave us the amazing gift of choice.  We are put in difficult positions all the time and we have the choice of doing what's right.  I met an amazing couple this past weekend and although my baby has Autism and is very challenging, they have had just as many challenges like I have with children developing normally. And I came to the realization, it doesn't matter if your child is disabled or not, many parents go through different heart break and challenges just like I do.  And to be honest, my challenges aren't that bad compared to others.  I am happy, although with a nasty cold, but happy to be a mom and be able to see my children grow up into these beautiful human beings.  I pray God sends comfort to all the parents who have lost their babies and are grieving in a time of giving and happiness.  My heart is with all of them.  Christmas morning I will pray and think of them and I will cherish my children in their honor.  God bless.