Exhaustion...overrated

Well what a day! I've been up since 4 this morning and I can't believe I'm still standing. Another typical day in the life of Darian. My beautiful Angel is in the process of taking pictures of herself on my phone, ready to (hopefully) go to bed peacefully and ready to sleep.  I know I'm more than ready! Another National Anthem day! Hahaha. It's amazing, but she did it, pooped on the potty for the 6th time. She cried and fought it and had me sing the National Anthem to her 3 times...and she did it.  So brave my little one, still traumatized by the act of "pooping". If I could only read her mind! What is it that she thinks is so terrifying? She hates it. Here's hoping one of these days she just goes without a fight.  Had to climb on top of her today to cut those damn toe nails! Thank God my mom is here to help me in holding her so she won't beat the crap out of me.  She is one strong little girl! Mission accomplished with screams and all.  She sure makes me sweat! As I'm looking at her, I wonder if this is it.  If she will always be in her own world half of the time.  With her internal struggles of what she thinks is wrong or right.  Will she ever know how much I love her, how much I will fight for her, how much she means to her family. I know now she misses me when I'm not around and it feels pretty great.  I hope she knows, she will never be alone.  We will try to give her a good life, a peaceful one, that is if she let's us. I cannot imagine my world without her and I want to be able to be there for her as long as I live..then again, Mark and I pretty much have to live FOREVER! It was a tough day, the easiest part of my day was work, but then again I love my job, it's my home away from home...for the most part.  My bubble burst when I got a call from Madison's school, she was in the nurse's  office, throwing up! So there I go driving like a mad woman to get to her so I could comfort her, my poor baby. I got to see Jessica today in between jobs, I miss her so much.  She's such a good sister, always worried about her sisters, she felt horrible for Madison, called me later from work to check up on her, so sweet.  Ok, so what does this mean...Darian is watching a video of one of her major meltdowns, laughing her butt off! Really? Great! LOL...well I better set her timer, time for bed, wish me luck! Good night :)