Monday, October 8, 2012

Meltdowns...what a conundrum...

So this morning my beautiful child decided to have a meltdown, oh what a joy! I woke up early enough and went to the bathroom and I could hear her making her "I'm bothered" noises. I get out as fast as I can, of course I had to brush my teeth first because I cannot stand it if I don't.  Luckily daddy was already with her.  She decided to go "poo poo" in her diaper! All that work put into getting her to go on the potty...uuuggghhhh!  I know, too much information, but this is our life.  So we get her all cleaned up, no biggie, so used to it right? Then I proceed to tell her we need to get ready for school.  Big mistake! She had a full on meltdown. You would think it was about the diaper, not even close.  It was because I stupidly forgot to prepare her yesterday for today.  I usually tell her on Sundays, it's the last day of the weekend and she's going to school on Monday and she's ok with that, but I completely forgot.  So this was a huge disappointment for her.  This is how her mind works, all about preparation and routine.  I felt horrible for failing her.  Luckily I was able to calm her down quickly and she was ok with getting on the bus.  So that was our morning :).  What a way to start the week!  But it is what it is and we deal with it.  It's very, very hard, she needs us so much and it's heart breaking, but we have no choice but to be strong and calm as much as possible.  I can totally see how someone who might see her having a meltdown, would immediately think "what a brat" and I would just love to invite them over to our place for a couple of days and give them a taste of reality.  It's sad and frustrating to see her lose control of her emotions.  Her poor arm takes a beating.  I do have to say, it's a lot less these days.  And it's weird to say this, but I rather her bite her arm than scratch herself bloody.  She used to scratch her neck, it was horrible.  I would have to make sure her nails were cut very short so she wouldn't hurt herself so much.  Wow, as I'm typing I'm realizing how much she has gone through in her lifetime, which is only 8.  I know you might think, poor you as parents, but I would trade places with her in a second if that meant for her to feel normal and able to communicate.  But it is what it is and we accept it with our hearts on our sleeves and ready for the next challenge. I know our challenges have only begun and I am mentally prepared for what's coming.  I just pray God gives me the strength to endure. I've added a video just to show you a little glimpse of Darian's meltdowns.  It's not meant for judgement or pity, I just want to share her struggle with you and educate. I apologize if anyone finds this clip offensive...this is my baby's struggle with communication.